Write about your most epic baking or cooking fail.

The flattest, most depressing Victoria’s Sponge Cake you ever saw.

In my defence, I made a perfectly good one prior to that. When the teacher was breathing down my neck, she kept insisting I keep stirring in a figure 8 well past the point I did before. But the fucking woman terrorised me and others – and I’m sure many All Saints R.C School in York have similar horror stories about Ms Nobblet. I’m too old and sick and tired of holding my peace about the hell I was put through at that school. I could go on all day. Maybe I’ll blog about it, and unlike them, I’ll facr the backlash because this should be heard abd i’ve got nothing but lint in my pockets and own no property, so good luck suing me.

They’d already had a fucking suicide there some years due to the toxic culture, but my attempt was variously characterised and mocked by my head of year as a lie (sue me for that, Dwyer) and other kids were largely responsible for putting me through leading up to this just used to keep making my life hell. Hey, Corrine and Gemma, did cruelty mocking a vulnerable teenager for, what you described, as sarcastically being “[she’s] always so happy.” Yes, that’s suicidal depression and PTSD you worthless thieves.

You will not me surprised to hear that I have PTSD and because of that I tend to go off piste to rant how that school fucked me up.

So back to baking disaster.

What does your ideal home look like?

I’d say pretty minimalist. The most extravagant items I would have would be related to my hobbies (art, photography and writing) and my cats, should I finally adopt some more. And obviously, cats being nosey sods, I’d have to ensure they get near my eart supplies. But other than that, a nicely TV and comfortable couch and bed would do me fine. You don’t need to chuck millions at your apartments or houses. My last flat was run by legit slumlords and was badly maintained, but I felt sad leaving. It had space to my hobbies at least. Which is more than many can say.

What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?

Looking into various serial killers for a writing project. Not a fun subject, to put it mildly.

What’s your favorite recipe?

Basic, but I’ve never been particularly good at cooking: chocolate chip cookies. I’ve had to adapt the recipe slightly over the years since I was diagnosed with  cealiec, but they usually turn out well.

Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.

I was walking behind two younger teenagers who were freaking out because one had lost the payment for their train ticket. It was only £5 so I gave it to them. It could have been a scam, but I don’t regret it.