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Mike x I will love you until my last breath -
For every star in heaven
There’s a sad soul here today.
– Queen, Long Away.
…
The end is here at last.
I know it’s the end because I don’t care anymore.
I don’t care who my actions will hurt. After all, they don’t care about me.
I heard it and knew it the other day “fuck her.” I’m an epileptic. He meant he didn’t want anyone to come home and look after me.
He meant if I fell and broke my neck, he didn’t care.
He didn’t care if I died.
Mother just sat there quietly, as always.
Sister. She lit the flame. She never said sorry.
I’m sorry to the online friends I have. The people I loved who never knew me. Rami. Michael. Chris. I hope we meet some day.
But this sad soul is joining the stars. My only friend. The end.
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Which aspects do you think makes a person unique?
My eyes.
They are the only thing I look at in the mirror and like what I see there.
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I ran until my legs could barely hold me up.
I ran until I could feel nothing but jelly anymore,
If that makes sense.
I ran unti I had could no more longer breathe.
I ran until I tripped and could run no longer.
The chase was over.
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I’m tired, I can’t be bothered to hide my art behind filters anymore. Here it is, with apologises to @fkatwigs who inspired it. I did you no justice, and I truly wanted to make something great inspired by you.
The truth is that I am a “fair” artist at best. That was the assessment I was given by my York college art tutor when he looked at my laughable portfolio for the first time. I grew as an artist, but not enough, and that clearly frustrated my tutors (I had four for different aspects of creativity. Photography, sadly, was not one of them. I doubt I would’ve appreciated it at the time if it had been).
Why? I don’t know. Mostly because it was the only decent course I could qualify for that was highly unlikely to contain any of the horrible sociopaths who had made secondary school an utter living nightmare. And I was okay at it. Back then, you had to make as much GCSEs with Cs or above to make certain courses. I wanted to go for the holy grail: A Levels. Specifically English Language, English Literature. The other two would be Politics and Psychology.
After failing to achieve the desired grades (I was one C off), I took a year off trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I read through the entire Tolkien trilogy. Re-watched the whole series’ of Only Fools and Horses on TV Gold. I did basically everything I could to avoid thinking about The Future.
Then came the inevitable day.
I was given two options: get a job or work towards getting a career. Refuse either, and I had to leave altogether.p
I choose art. I came to like it.
But I love it more than I’ll ever have the talent to prove it. To prove my love.
And that’s that.
The artwork being discussed in this post. -
I really thought this would turn out better. But I accept it for what it is.
Bloody Roses 